-glory in the highest.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Lifted this article off the Today Online edition

Frances Ong Hock Lin

SEVENTEEN years ago, my unhappy
father walked me down the aisle in a
Katong church. He was about to hand
over his daughter to a man who eagerly
grabbed her arms, as if to make sure
the bride would be given away.
My father left midway through the
ceremony — to drown his sorrows at the
famous Marine Parade Satay Stall.
But it was my grandfather who had
the greatest impact on our marriage.
He told me that people used to marry
to fall in love, but that people now fall in
love to get married. He saw marriages
going up in smoke after the initial passions
burned out. He believed that a
wedding is only a day, but a marriage is
a lifetime.
He was match-made to my grandmother,
a great cook, and he surmised
that she would support him in whatever
he did. I have never seen them quarrel.
From her, I learned how to make a
husband happy. She saved the best meat
for him, and would eat only when he
was at the dinner table. Even after slaving
the whole day over a hot stove, she
would be bathed and powdered when he
returned from work. And his slippers
and a glass of water were always there
to welcome him.
My grandfather, who knew I was an
outspoken and stubborn child, worried
that having a university education might
make it difficult for me to submit to my
husband.
Growing up in the 1970s, with
women fighting for equal rights, I was at
first shocked by what he advocated. I
fought a good fight at university, debating
with my male tutorial mates.
At work, I do not believe in the glass
ceiling for women, and do not see
myself as weaker then men.
But it was in the home context that I
realised my grandfather’s foresight and
wisdom.
A marriage is not an equal partnership,
where a couple are looking constantly
to ensure that everything is
divided 50-50. That makes us calculative
and mean, and reduces the marriage to
a conditional clause: As long as he lives
up to his end of the bargain, so will I.
Instead of looking for the right person
to be our spouse, we have to be the
right person for them. We have to give
110 per cent without any conditions or
strings attached to the marriage contract
— which, hopefully, we enter into
with our eyes open.
The marriage vow basically says that
even if a husband turns out to be a
scumbag or a couch potato who cares
more for Man U than for his mother-inlaw,
we still have to accept him.
My husband and I have demanding
careers, but when we come home, I give
him a sponge bath even if I am tired. I
prepare supper, and yes, I do peel
prawns for him. I do so without asking
for anything in return.
He is the head of the household.
When it comes to any major decision,
his vote counts for 60 per cent, and
mine for 40 per cent. My grandfather
was right. This is difficult. I find it challenging
to submit to my husband.
But I discovered that once I learned
to obey him, it gave him a greater sense
of responsibility, of wanting to take care
of the family even more. In addition,
when my children see that I obey him,
they learn to obey him and respect him
as a father.
Being the heart of the family, my role
is to complement, and not to compete
with, his. I never challenge his views in
front of others, which would make him
feel small, insignificant and disrespected.
We try not to fight or quarrel in
front of the children.
Yes, we have thought of walking out
of this marriage many times, but then
we remembered that we started out
with the belief that divorce was not an
option.
We will continue to fight, and our
marriage will be a rollercoaster ride.
Given a chance, would I walk down the
aisle again to the same man? Yes, I
would, but this time I would obey him
the minute he married me.

felt this article was sooo true..written from experience i believe..and its damn hard to accept in todays society..with those women rights and stuff..but i mean wth..label me a mcp or whatever but i believe the things written in this article, that the wife in order to love her husband should obey him in whatever he does. having said that husbands of coz can't ill-treat their wives. must be a Christian i believe..coz pastor always say, wives obey your husband because they are the head of the household, and husbands love your wives..hmm..guess this is like a more workable way in a marriage rather then always the man giving in to the wife and in the end who suffers? both parties! the man gets sick and tired of being push under the wife's feet..the wife feels no sense of security..

oh well..decide for yourself then..but i still believe the man should wear the pants in the house..and the woman should always be the one at the back giving support for the man..

Your Love falls like the morning dew
|| 6/28/2005 10:20:00 pm

just realised my blog skin is in such a thrashed state that i can't comprehend even myself reading entries on it..argh..no time to change..or rather lazy to change..and apparently my blog settings is in chinese for no apparent reason..so calling anyone who can help to change the language back to my familiar english..im forever grateful..

Your Love falls like the morning dew
|| 6/28/2005 08:18:00 pm

Monday, June 27, 2005

ok..this entry is dedicated to reply the tag

well..i dun really care where you guys got the objective and how you guys arrived at it..but when a committee set an objective..the objective must be in line with the BB object: The advancement of Christ kingdom among Boys and the promotion of habits of Obedience, Reverence, Discipline, Self-Respect and all that tend towards a true Christian manliness. So which part of the camp's objective was in line with the BB object? Then also, we must set our objectives in line of the commission that Jesus gave us: Go ye to all the world and preach the Good News. But are we doing that? do we forsake the object of the BB and Christ's commission so that we would not scare people off that we are a Christian organisation? just because it has always been a 'lifestyle evangelism' in the BB that it has to be followed? bible says that we proclaim the Word of God, and not to be ashamed of it. Jesus said, if you forsake Me in front of men, I will forsake you in front of My Father(para-phrase). so you look at the camps objectives and the object of the BB and the objectives Christ has set out for us and see whether if it is in line. you decide for yourself.

to the second-tag. apparently you dunno the real clement here. the real clement now doesn't hanker over position anymore. positions are good and i will be glad if im given one. but that position doesn't mean being recognised above your peers neither does it make me feel proud about it. but im proud of my Father in Heaven who can give me exceeding abundantly above what i could ever ask or think. having the position means a responsibility to serve and not to be served. Christ set the example for us. best example is when He washed His disciples feet. it becomes a symbol of humbling yourself in your leadership and serving others. putting others first. i never doubt the committee putting the campers ahead of themselves. but is the committee putting themselves ahead of God? are they just doing things for the recognition of men rather then God's recognition? you decide then.

the man has spoken

Your Love falls like the morning dew
|| 6/27/2005 07:48:00 pm

Sunday, June 26, 2005

was back from camp last night..well..wasn't really in the mood to blog..but saw the tag..did a short reply..well..im not obliged to reply by the way..but think im gonna blog more about that tml..needa slp now..ciao peeps..

Your Love falls like the morning dew
|| 6/26/2005 10:52:00 pm

Thursday, June 23, 2005

yay!! going for camp tml..oh well..not really that excited since im gonna see those somehow not very useful comm ppl again..but well..im looking forward to meeting other ppl..yay!! haha..finally some real humans to talk to..some real people to crap around with other then those people in the lab so engrossed into their work..hahaha..well well..got to go slp soon..working earlier tml..ciao peeps

Your Love falls like the morning dew
|| 6/23/2005 11:02:00 pm

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

you know..sometime i just dun understand why people don't understand certain stuffs..like putting God first..just strike God out..i mean like when God is needed, oh how hard we pray and seek Him everyday..and when His not needed..eh thank you arh! till i need You again then i will on You..i mean like what is this man..even as i type this, i know i myself am sometimes like that..but as a leader we really should change and put God first in everything we do..

just take the POC for example..im like damn sick and fed-up of the objective of the camp to be "fun & interesting" for the campers..what kind of objective is this? and the BB leading ppl to Christ is through our day-by-day influence basis? what crappy lie of the devil is that? which part of the bible tells us that? wanna know what the bible says? let me tell you what the bible says: If you forsake Me infront of men, I will forsake you in front of My Father!

hows that sound to you! objectives are meant to be Spirit driven, Christ orientated..not some 'smart intelligent' thinking..precisely why im like damn sick and tired of going down for the meetings..i tell you..even as i write this entry..it is somehow directed at me too..i feel the heat..oh boy i feel the heat too..

and please..its not about submitting to leadership..oh i heard this one as well..a leadership which does not seek wisdom and knowledge does not fully understand the objective the Lord Jesus has set out for Christians like us..which is to: Go ye into all the world to preach the Good News! are we really doing that? damn..how i really wish that im not sinful..clothed in righteousness so that my judgement is reserved only for the people that needs to be judged..but it isn't so and i thank God..coz He's giving me this opportunity to learn..not only me..but others..to see what it really means by putting Him first..

felt abit better after all that load of crap has been lifted..zzz..gtg now..ciaoz ppl

Your Love falls like the morning dew
|| 6/21/2005 10:03:00 pm

Monday, June 20, 2005

really got to bring myself to update this blog..and yah..need to find new skins..if you guys out there found some new and visually pleasing skins please please let me know..this skin is like super out-dated..haha..oh well..guess im gonna drag myself here tml to update..ciao

Your Love falls like the morning dew
|| 6/20/2005 10:55:00 pm

Sunday, June 05, 2005

5 more weeks! yea man..5 more weeks before my attachment ends..can't wait for the last day of attachment..getting so much more routine these days..the day my attachment ends will be the day i start to loath when my project will end..and it happens that im working all ALONE..what a loner man clement..first you have to do attachment at this god forsaken company somewhere in science park II which is like thousands of miles away from home, and to make things worst, you're there with a bunch of ladies to interact with and all alone trying to mix and blend into the new found environment..how nice..crap! i just wish for some guys to be around at the work place where we can like talk some guys stuff..and not having to please those women in the office with my work antics..grr..

working in the commercial company really brings me to think if this is gonna be like that for the rest of my life..till the day i die..i will still be making buffers, preparing oligonucleotide synthesis..blah blah blah..how fitting it would to die in the lab right? told God:

"eh God? i dun really wish to live this kind of life sitting in the lab the whole day doing routine stuffs, and waiting for the end of the month to receive my pay and then quietly wait for the next months pay to come. i wanna die serving you..wouldn't it be great? i still like wanna have a nice family, bring them along when im serving you..raise my kids to be God-fearing children..have a pretty wife for the rest of my life..and even if i dun get KIA (killed in action) for you..it would be great just for me to die knowing that i served the One true and living God, Jesus! then when i grow and about die..i wanna be somewhere else..to enjoy the warmth of the sun knowing that Your love that embraces me is warmer then the sun; to star gaze at night to know that they are your handiworks.."

wouldn't it really be nice if my life would as such..i have been living for like almost 2 decades..can you imagine? sounds old ya? haha..but i wanna accomplish something more..which is serving you God..how nice..how nice would it be..

Your Love falls like the morning dew
|| 6/05/2005 10:03:00 pm